My Crafting Dilemma

All my life I have done crafts. I knit, crochet, embroider (crewel work and counted thread cross stitch) and sew and all my life since I was a very young child I have done so (I was knitting jerseys for myself before I was 10 years old and I can still do so). In part it was because I saw my mother knitting and doing other crafts every evening. I don’t know whether I have automatically followed her example but since adulthood I have been unable to sit in front of the television without a piece of either knitting or crochet in my hands. Whenever I go to the cinema I always feel uncomfortable because there isn’t enough light to knit or crochet there – I suppose I need to start going to the cinema somewhere in London which has special viewings especially for knitters when the house lights are on enough for people to see to knit while watching the film (usually something like Bridget Jones, or something likely to appeal to women) .

Anyway two years ago I reached an emotional stopping point which has caused me to stop and think about the entire subject of spending time on crafts. I have yet to reach a conclusion on this as I am still thinking it through.

I have already mentioned that I have learned most of the crafts from my mother and for as long as I can remember whenever she has been well enough she has crafted things. She knitted woollies for the whole family and did a huge amount of embroidery, most of which became pictures which were, when finished, professionally framed and hung on the walls of her house. Something over two years ago, and about a year after the death of my father, it became clear that because she was so disabled by illness that she could no longer live by herself. After some discussion with the family it was decided that she should go into a nursing home where she could get proper nursing on a 24 hour basis and my brother found an excellent nursing home for her. The whole thing has been a great success and she has now settled down there, no problem. It was, however, necessary for her to sell her home and to dispose of everything, other than a few precious pieces that she took with her.

I was responsible for sorting out the contents of the house, giving all the stuff which was not good enough to sell but too good to throw away to charity shops and disposing of everything else. I will admit that it was a wrench getting rid of some pieces of furniture and other domestic items that I could remember from my childhood but that neither my brother nor myself had room for in our respective homes. But the thing that found most difficult passing onto the charity shops were all of the craftwork that she had spent hours lovingly doing over the years. I have taken one or two pieces home to keep but some items I have had to let go because (a) my walls are full of my own craftwork and (b) most of her pieces were just weren’t right for my place. So they have gone on to charity shops hopefully to find a new home.

The whole concept of spending large amounts of time working on something just for the pleasure of doing it is one thing. But once it is finished – what then? If it is not something that you know definitely that you have a specific use for then what is the use of making it. Someone buying such an item in a charity shop or somewhere is unlikely to appreciate the love and the commitment in making it. How on earth do professional craftsmen cope, making things of all types for sale? This whole thing I find very difficult and I am still trying to work out and get it clear in my own mind, even after more then two years.

The result is that although I have at least three knitting projects for myself on the go (a jumper I designed, a cardigan with a small amount of cabling and in British Sheep wool and a jacket in thick variegated yarn) I now can find no emotional urge to finish any of them and so they are all currently packed away in a cupboard. I find myself thinking – what’s the use of making craft things? So I have been making things for others. I’ve knitted a big Aran jumper for the Husband, with lots of complex cabling, that I know he will need for next winter and then followed that with a complex lace knitted shawl for my very pregnant hairdresser (baby due any day now). These are all done now and given to the recipients (much gratitude expressed, even from the Husband who has no idea just how complex the pattern is on his Aran ~smile~). The Husband doesn’t need me to make anything more for him at the moment and neither of the adult Stepkids seem to want me to make them anything (they both have very individual tastes of their own). So I have started to crochet some baby blankets for a charity as I must do something with my hands or go mad. And at least I know that they will be of benefit. More about the charity later.